the internet is loud.

the last 4 or 5 generations of people have been raised by screens. We are all encultured to take what we see on TV as reality (excluding explicitly fictional content). We are strongly shaped by the messages we receive from these light-up boxes. It puts our children (and parents!) into a trance, and tells them what choices to make, how to view the world.

and such a thing as the internet emerged. a network to share information. at first it was slow, but as the technology was refined and more people logged on, things gradually improved. The internet grows by becoming more efficient, more streamlined. it evolves.

and it gives everyone a voice. not only can you passively sit back and experience the internet, you can make it happen. create a website or a blog. take photographs and show them to the world. find a mate. become someone else.
you see someone wouldnt walk into a room in real life and announce: "im female and fourteen years old, does anyone want to have sex with me?"

but you would online.
such is the freedom of anonymity.
everyone has a voice.

and the noise is so loud.

How long are you gonna stand the lies?

OH SHIT

i hope i still have this movie somewhere on my hd. omg.

so, i got my soul back last night

um, well to start off, i think i had truly the strangest experience of my life last night after getting home.. i still dont really know what to make of it, and ive got a feeling i didnt just imagine it, although ive got no proof. I was a little high cause i smoked on the way home, but i dont thin that had much to do with it, because i dont normally have these sort of experiences.

So, i get home at about 2.15-2.30 am.. i walk in my room and set down my purse. Im looking down and to the side, just kinda staring off into space... i see a horizon, very fuzzy, and doesnt really look like anything, and theres a dot flying closer, coming in from the left side towards me. the being sticks out its tongue, which is sort of like one of those vectors from "Donnie Darko" but much thinner, and it's covered in what at first i think are bees, but when it gets closer to me, i see that they arent, but i dont know what they are, the looked like little white peanuts in their shells.
The vector goes into my mouth, down my throat, somewhere in my chest. I ask what's going on, the being says "we're returning your soul." and i feel this.. white-ness inside of me, shining, like there's a tiny star inside my chest. "what..? what are you?" i asked, but it was gone.

after that, my hart was beating so hard. I asked if the experience was genuine, and i seemed to be getting "yes" as an answer.
then i went into my bathroom, took a few pictures of myself in the mirror. then i took one of myself, and a voice in my head started yelling at me "fool! cameras steal your soul!" "no they dont" "yes! yes they do!" and i said "well if you exist then.. " and whoomp. i felt that same feeling i'd just had when that other thing returned my soul to me.

and talked to "god" for about 30 mins, about all sorts of stuff.
I asked him, "who are you?" he wouldnt tell me.. "what are you?" and he said "that's the same thing." then he called himself "the mover" a term i had heard in philosophy class..
he told me how he sets things into motion, and that we get choices along the way. kinda like a wheel rolling down a hill, and we can lean left or right to change directions.
he confirmed the thing about 2012, how our sister star will bring the end of our civilization in a rain of asteroids.

he also confirmed some things for me id been thinking, about my past lives. I dont know much about them, because you cant remember them until youre fully enlightened.
he also wouldnt tell me when i lost my soul, but it was some time after i stopped being catholic, although that wasnt what lost me my soul.

in fact, he told me that all religions are equally justified, that they all worship the same thing. and that "god" is really not worthy of the kind of praise they give him, although he doesnt mind it.
and not all people have souls, because god only has so many "arms" which he uses to embody certain people, to use them for certain purposes, thats what gives some people "auras" ... and that the god system is tiered.. this god is actually a part of a larger "network" of gods, connected to a higher god which sort of controls all of them.
this tier system extends throughout the universe. each unit builds upon eachother to reach the next highest form of energy/matter/being.. and each unit spins, like tiny little clocks ticking, marking the passage of time (this goes back to the theory that time is circular, the different units follow different size loops) and even the galaxies spin in complex patterns, as they are a part of a much lager unit, the universe, which is something we are too tiny to see yet, and there's even something past that, which is made up of many universes spinning around eachother. this also goes down to the molecular level, protons and neutrons and electrons are also made up of smaller particles, which are made of even smaller things, and this extends indefinitely both ways.



oh, and yes, god is an asshole. but hes an asshole with a sense of humor.

--EDIT 3/18/08 4:53AM--
>>Disclaimer: I don't necessarily believe any of the revelations in this to be true, and mostly attribute this to being me talking to myself. But the whole soul thing is truly bizarre. I remembered today that a few years ago I "sold my soul" for something, and i can't remember what. I do think that I got whatever it was. which kinda sucks.

left

crop circles

short post this time, just two things for you to watch. yes, many crop circles are faked, but take a look at these, especially the second if youre a total skeptic. that shit gets crazy

i do live a somewhat normal life.. er.

so my brother comes to my room and he says "did you leave bacon in the microwave?"
and im like "what.. no? ... yeah."

i was making ramen earlier, and i wanted bacon too, so i stuck some in the microvave. and apparently i turned it on and left it there, because right away my noodles started boiling.

and that was like, an hour or so ago.
i kinda fail.

p-p-p-planet x (i need a better hobby)

so, a few days ago, i posted about planet x, or nibiru, or our sister star, or whatever else it may be.

there seems to be some discrepancies to what exactly is going to be passing through our solar system. most videos ive seen say that the star will be passing through, that we will see two suns (ive seen one video that asserts we can already see it in the southern hemisphere) in the next few years coming. one video (ill try to find it and post it if i can) says that it will be one of the star's planets, nibiru that will pass through.

regardless *what* is gonna go through our solar system, it will wreak havoc. our moon's gravity pulls our oceans up and gives us the tides, imagine what a much more massive, much hotter object added to the equation would do to us. if it really is coming up from the south, then that may explain the depletion of the ozone at the south pole...

the important thing to remember is that civilizations have survived this before. our species has teetered on the brink of extinction before.

i can only hope, however that this is the end of us. i know thats about as pessimistic as you can get... but seriously, this earth needs change. it needs a break from us. we are raping mother earth a hundred times over, leaving her almost barren. this is why the apocalypse gives me hope. i personally and ready to die when the time comes. there's more to life than existence.

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theres two versions of this is seems (first one is third in a series, the second is a "revised version" but says different things)
__i should not i dont buy into everything these videos say. i havent researched much into these things, but i would say itd be hard to find an official source on this. (but then, the videos had to get their info from somewhere..)__