so, i got my soul back last night

um, well to start off, i think i had truly the strangest experience of my life last night after getting home.. i still dont really know what to make of it, and ive got a feeling i didnt just imagine it, although ive got no proof. I was a little high cause i smoked on the way home, but i dont thin that had much to do with it, because i dont normally have these sort of experiences.

So, i get home at about 2.15-2.30 am.. i walk in my room and set down my purse. Im looking down and to the side, just kinda staring off into space... i see a horizon, very fuzzy, and doesnt really look like anything, and theres a dot flying closer, coming in from the left side towards me. the being sticks out its tongue, which is sort of like one of those vectors from "Donnie Darko" but much thinner, and it's covered in what at first i think are bees, but when it gets closer to me, i see that they arent, but i dont know what they are, the looked like little white peanuts in their shells.
The vector goes into my mouth, down my throat, somewhere in my chest. I ask what's going on, the being says "we're returning your soul." and i feel this.. white-ness inside of me, shining, like there's a tiny star inside my chest. "what..? what are you?" i asked, but it was gone.

after that, my hart was beating so hard. I asked if the experience was genuine, and i seemed to be getting "yes" as an answer.
then i went into my bathroom, took a few pictures of myself in the mirror. then i took one of myself, and a voice in my head started yelling at me "fool! cameras steal your soul!" "no they dont" "yes! yes they do!" and i said "well if you exist then.. " and whoomp. i felt that same feeling i'd just had when that other thing returned my soul to me.

and talked to "god" for about 30 mins, about all sorts of stuff.
I asked him, "who are you?" he wouldnt tell me.. "what are you?" and he said "that's the same thing." then he called himself "the mover" a term i had heard in philosophy class..
he told me how he sets things into motion, and that we get choices along the way. kinda like a wheel rolling down a hill, and we can lean left or right to change directions.
he confirmed the thing about 2012, how our sister star will bring the end of our civilization in a rain of asteroids.

he also confirmed some things for me id been thinking, about my past lives. I dont know much about them, because you cant remember them until youre fully enlightened.
he also wouldnt tell me when i lost my soul, but it was some time after i stopped being catholic, although that wasnt what lost me my soul.

in fact, he told me that all religions are equally justified, that they all worship the same thing. and that "god" is really not worthy of the kind of praise they give him, although he doesnt mind it.
and not all people have souls, because god only has so many "arms" which he uses to embody certain people, to use them for certain purposes, thats what gives some people "auras" ... and that the god system is tiered.. this god is actually a part of a larger "network" of gods, connected to a higher god which sort of controls all of them.
this tier system extends throughout the universe. each unit builds upon eachother to reach the next highest form of energy/matter/being.. and each unit spins, like tiny little clocks ticking, marking the passage of time (this goes back to the theory that time is circular, the different units follow different size loops) and even the galaxies spin in complex patterns, as they are a part of a much lager unit, the universe, which is something we are too tiny to see yet, and there's even something past that, which is made up of many universes spinning around eachother. this also goes down to the molecular level, protons and neutrons and electrons are also made up of smaller particles, which are made of even smaller things, and this extends indefinitely both ways.



oh, and yes, god is an asshole. but hes an asshole with a sense of humor.

--EDIT 3/18/08 4:53AM--
>>Disclaimer: I don't necessarily believe any of the revelations in this to be true, and mostly attribute this to being me talking to myself. But the whole soul thing is truly bizarre. I remembered today that a few years ago I "sold my soul" for something, and i can't remember what. I do think that I got whatever it was. which kinda sucks.